A First

This morning, I actually slept through my alarm clock. I always thought I was completely incapable of this, but now I've learned otherwise, much to my chagrin. Here's the exact internal dialogue that went through my head as I came to this realization in my mostly still-slumbering state: "Did my alarm go off already and I totally slept through it? No way. But it does seem like it should have gone off by now. Nah, I'm imagining things. Still, I feel like I heard it go off, and now I don't hear it. Did I dream that? I should check. No, no, no, I'm just being paranoid, I'm sure it's about to go off and I'll be telling myself, 'See, told you so.' But I really should check just to be sure. Only then I'll see that it's like a minute from going off and be pissed at myself for throwing away that extra minute of lying here all toasty and asleep. ... What would be worse, though, losing that extra minute of toasty asleepedness, or continuing to just snooze away and finding out later that not only did I sleep through my alarm clock, but way, way past it, making me much later for work than I'm already going to be? Oh, shut up, you're being retarded, there's no way you slept all the way through an entire hour of alarm. Yeah, I don't know, I realllly ought to check. OK, OK, I'm checking."

[Pause ... checking ...]

"Fuck."

(Ed. note: That's probably not the exact dialogue the went through my head, but pretty damn close.)

There's No 'I' in Wii! Wait...

Yesterday, Dec. 14, 2008 — my father's birthday, as a matter of fact — a magical event long in the coming transpired: my roommate Heidi brought a Nintendo Wii into my life. I don't think it being my father's birthday had anything to do with it (though who knows ... Heidi works in mysterious ways), but I pretty much had to include that seeing as how it's yesterday I'm talking about, here. Anyway, this may just do it for me and the outside world, folks. It was fun while it lasted. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in Heidi's room playing Guitar Hero World Tour. Indefinitely. (Anyone know if the Wii does taxes?)

Get a Massage From This Chick, Help the Children

It's Friday night. Surely, there is nothing better you could do with yourself tonight than go to Yoga Groove in North Hollywood and get a massage while enjoying live music and knowing you are helping the children. The children of Children's Hospital, to be exact. C'mon, there'll be healthy food and raffles, too. You could win stuff from Lululemon, Beach Yoga Jewelry and other places where they probably play lots of Enya. Plus, I'll be there. And where Scrog goes, fun follows, as I just decided will from this point forward be my personal slogan (patent pending). Oh yeah, the details:

Time: 7:30 - 10:30 p.m.
Address: 10503 Magnolia Blvd.
Admission: $10 and an unwrapped kids' toy. Stuff you got out of a McDonald's Happy Meal is not acceptable.