Random Internet Image of the Day

Newfound Appreciation for a Candy Classic

The other night, I decided to pick up an assortment of candies at Walgreen's, since they regularly offer a variety of my favorites that you can mix and match at 3 for $3 and, well, I was there. In debating what three candies I would choose, I found myself suddenly enticed by Boston Baked Beans. I have no idea when the last time I ate Boston Baked Beans was, but I sort of remember not liking them much. This particular evening, however, they unexpectedly looked delectable to me, and so I got them. Boy, was that the single greatest decision I have ever made in my entire lifetime. For they are exquisite. I should have expected no less from Ferrara Pan, the ingenious makers of the Chewy Atomic FireBall.

The Porn Is Taking Over

This is my office desk. If I suddenly go missing, please dispatch search party to the AVN building with porn shovel(s). And beer. Or if you like, just send the beer.

At Last, I'll Feel Totally Safe While I Sleep...

...knowing the Marx Brothers are watching over me.

See the Magic

What Scrog Is Thinking

"Something in my chest feels gaseous. What the fuck. Is it from skipping my meds a day? From getting so little sleep the past two days? From smoking that cigar with James Deen and consuming copious amounts of alcohol in those same two days? From my disgusting diet every day? I can't function in this state. What do you take for chest gaseousness? What am I going to write about the XRCOs? What I'd really like to write is, 'It was noisy and now I feel like I have to fart, the end.' Ann Marie is so wonderful. Fucking car shit. When are they gonna invent beaming machines already? I have no sandwich meat and no transportation to obtain any. I need a five-day weekend. And some kind of medication for ... obsessive/acute scatter brain? The toilet nap! Now that's an idea worth exploring."

In the Spank Safe Deposit Box: Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez

All I really know about these two is that they're on the Disney Channel and reportedly BFFs. I shouldn't even know that much, but I can't stop Seventeen magazine from appearing before my eyes in the grocery store checkout lane. I also can't help the fact that both are most obviously going to be declared "hot" by everyone under the sun the second it becomes socially acceptable to do so (i.e. upon their 18th birthdays). In the picture below, Lovato is the one on the left and Gomez is on the right. Both are 16. Enjoy!