Some Inside Movie Shit: Paris the French Robot

Being who I am, I sometimes get inside info on some real-deal Hollywood movings and shakings and whatnot. This isn't really that, but I think it's hilarious so I'm writing about it anyway.

My friend Carlos of Scribe Services PR represents this French actress by the name of Paris Benjamin (that's her--->) who just shot a movie called Folklore in which, according to Carlos' press release, "She plays Annabelle, an android" joined by "a water nymph, a vampire, extra terrestrials and other assorted beings who are asked to talk about their lives by a government agency in a far-off future."

First off, this girl is from France and her name is Paris. Coincidence, or weird attempt to ride on the esteemed coattails of Paris Hilton? Hard to say, but that's neither here nor there. Let me share what Paris has to say about playing Annabelle the android (oh yeah, Folklore is a comedy):

"I never played an android and working on a comedy is always fun. I liked the idea of a science-fiction comedy, but I also liked being a really strange character that has to explain herself even though she's really a robot. There's something really funny about that but also something very meaningful."

Ohhhhhhhh, where to begin?! Paris (if that's your real name) ... I'm sorry you got cast in something that sounds like a fake bad movie pitch someone might give on The Simpsons, but you really don't have to attempt to pass it off as containing any meaning, I promise. Because it doesn't.

That said, you are kinda hot, so I will most likely see the movie anyway. I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. Good night, and good luck. Love, Scrog.

Random Internet Image of the Day

Etiquette of the Porn Chick

Rules to live by if you want to make it as an adult starlet.

When and if you text somebody, do not under any circumstances respond to their text back.

Incompetent Porn Review

Official Psycho Parody
Orona Stevens Productions/Zero Tolerance Entertainment
by Pinnicus Weinerspitz

If, you remember the movie called Psycho that Alfred Hitchchock made in the 1960's about 60 years ago, than you can understand would make somebody say, "That would sound like a good idea for something that we could make into a porn parody of." Because, we all remember that the famous shower scene where she was pretty much naked in the shower already, would obviously be easy to show you what Hitch Cock couldn't, which this time we see with the sexy Sara Sloane that also is now known as she used to be before she signed a contract with Zero tolerence, as Sara Vandellah, going into that famous part.

And if you like busting your nut like I do, than just wait because you will need some windex wiper to wipe off your screen after all the busting your nut is doing when you watch this Parody. Which they give you a choice if you want to watch it in color on the first dvd or if you want to watch in b&w on the other dvd (there are 2 dvds), and either way, let me tell you, your going to be busting your nut hard.

I first couldn't believe it when I saw in the first scene Katie Jordan a really sexy brunette kitten that tells her boss she could give some Afternoon delights to Dane Cross and Eric Masterson where they bang her like they'll never forget on their desk. And neither will you. She rides those cocks really good and you'll be jerking off right there. When she sucks those cocks with her mouth its really good too.

Sarah bangs Bates in his office with all the stuff animals, and there's even a stuffed person too. It's funny. She gets so turned on that she doesn't care he wears womens pantys, she wants to get that cock right there and she does. She really knows how to take a cock standing up or on the floor and she fucks it so hard your going to be wishing it was your cock in there.

The most you will be busting a nut though is when Breanne Benson gets fucked in the hotel room where Marion was staying by her brother Michael Vegas. Wowee! Is it making you splooge allover yourself when she is riding that cock and sucking that cock so hard. Anytime when you just feel like you really need to jerk off this scene will be a good one to watch.

Don't forget that Kagney Linn Karter is also in this movie where she plays a hooker and she gets banged by Lee Stone in another hotel. Kagney fucks a cock so good like nobody else and she gives such amazing Blowjobs that you only wish it was your cock she was giving that Blowjob too. This one is surly going to have you busting a nut.

You can't explain how awesome it is to see such a Classic Movie with all the sex you always dreamed about going on in there really happening so you can jerk off to it for real like you always dreamed about. That is why this Parody is something you shouldn't just rent but Buy it because it will always be good to have to jerk off to whenever you feel like it.

Overall I give this movie a " Best Suggestion " for all your jerking off needs.

HAPPY ZOMBIE DAY

May all your flesh devouring, organ impaling dreams come true.

New Piece of Crucial 'Black Swan' Info Revealed

As previously established, the upcoming film Black Swan contains the single most anticipated chunk of celluloid in the entire stretch of my Scroggy existence: lesbianosity between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

Well I have just learned that ON TOP OF THAT, this thing has my perennially pined-after Natalie doing some of the MASTURBATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends, I seriously may have to put one or all of you on death watch over me when this movie comes out, because if I even manage to survive a viewing of it without perishing from some massive coronary of supreme ecstasy, I'm not entirely sure I can be trusted afterward to stop myself from ending it all out of realization that I have experienced the absolute zenith of being and there is nowhere left to go but down.

In any event, let us celebrate this new revelation with the uncensored version of Natalie's gangsta rap from SNL:

My Rosh Hashanah Wish List

If anyone's wondering what they can get me for Rosh Hashanah, I would very much like one of these:


Gift cards for Menchie's would be acceptable, as well.